I was running....

Last night I missed the group ride with PBA after a long, exhausting day at work.  I planned on putting my bike on the trainer and watching Modern Family and two hours of Law and Order SVU....Bill went out last night with some friends and I was home by myself.

I was sitting on the couch not really feeling well....and I had dozed off for a little cat nap.... when I woke up I felt like crap.  I wasn't in the mood to get my bike, pull out the trainer, set it up, change clothes, etc etc... I was about thiiiiiiiis close to saying F-it - I need a rest day.

Then I started moving about the house..........

At about 8:30 I decided to put on my tennis shoes....and run...no ipod, no socks, no heart rate monitor...just me, the outside air and my Brooks.

I haven't gone out for a run without all my "gear" probably, ever .  It is starting to cool off at night now.... officially Fall started yesterday.  Anyway - I started running... I didn't map a route before I left the house... I just went.  I did take my phone just in case I needed to call if something happened (and I wore bright clothes) :)

I ran around my neighborhood, down a main street to another neighborhood, around those streets and back home..... I have no idea how far it was - probably 2-ish miles or so.

It was a short 25 minutes but during it I was alone with my thoughts and the sounds of my shoes hitting the pavement.  The streets were eerily quiet last night - not much movement besides a light breeze.  I thought about how two years ago I remember telling Bill "I can't run a mile - it's too far!", I thought about all the people on Biggest Loser on Tuesday that ran a mile at over 300 pounds.  I thought mostly about Jessica. 

I tend to do that when I'm alone.... think about her.  I thought about how much I've been missing her lately.  I miss her everyday but lately it's been almost insurmountable.  I cried the other day when P-diddy's song "I'll be missing you" came on the radio.  I was driving...and lost it...

I thought about how the remainder of my life she won't be here.......physically at least and how I don't know what I would do if something ever happened to Bill.

Seriously - it was a lot for a 25 minute run... I felt better when I got home.  The nose wasn't so runny and my throat felt better.  I felt better.

Sometimes you just need to do something for yourself.....

We were watching the Biggest Loser on Tuesday and a lot of the contestants said that they are overweight because the lost themselves.  They gave everything they have to their loved ones - their families... and somewhere along the way they lost the ability/want/need to take care of themselves.

One lady said her daughter told her that she didn't want to be like her b/c she was fat. 

Bill turned to me and said - we can't ever let that happen.  We have to be good role models for our children.  We can't loose ourselves in our families and forget about ourselves.  If we don't take care of ourselves our children won't have parents...... I think it's important to remember that.  ALWAYS take time to take care of YOU - you will be a better person, wife, girlfriend, mom, father, brother, uncle, aunt...etc.....

Anyway - I hope you have a happy Thursday!  Another busy day at work for me with sales appointments and such so wish me luck!

I can't be more excited that Grey's starts again tonight! WHOOO-HOOOO!!!!