Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Letters to my BFF

Dear Jess -

There still isn't a moment that goes by I don't think of you - seriously it's THAT often.

On Christmas Eve I was having a glass of wine with my mom and preparing dishes for the Christmas Day feast ( you know she cooks WAAAAY too much food) and we were talking about the time you and me had to go to the store 4 times because we messed up Anna's jello thing she loves so much.  Mom and I laughed so hard about that Christmas Eve.

I've been missing you a lot lately.  Maybe it's the holidays, maybe it's because your 30th birthday is coming up next month, maybe it's because SBJ is getting married this weekend, or maybe it's because I just miss you that much - I try and try to think about all the fun times - all the laughs all the memories and all the silly stories....which inevitably works 99% of the time to clear up the sadness...but sometimes I am just sad.

I saw your family in November at the Brain Tumor Walk - so good to see them.  I know you know this, but everyone is doing so well.  I miss my second set of parents about as much as I miss you- but I know I will get to see them soon.

Today is your sisters birthday - the first thing I did was text her when I got up to wish her a happy day!  I still think of her as my little sister and since you aren't here to wish her happy bday I did it for the both of us.

I'm sitting here at work 4 days before SBJ's wedding.  And, although, I'm super happy for her I can't help but be sad that you aren't here to celebrate with us.  I'm going to OKC tomorrow for work then it's over to Tulsa to start the festivities.  You know SBJ only does things top notch and this wedding is no different.  It oozes SBJ through and through.

When Amber and I wake up on Saturday morning it won't be the same drinking mimosa's without you.  Or getting our hair and make up done without you or walking down the aisle to support SBJ and you not being there...but like all things since 6/4/09 I will get through it knowing that you are guiding us with your gentle kind spirit.

I'm continually thinking of you and the day we spent together on your wedding day.  Hair, makeup, chick fil a, and a freezing cold day in December with awesome pictures.

I love you BFF - and miss you dearly.



Me, Jess (BFF), Sarah (SBJ)

Me and Jess
Mom, Me, Jess, Stephanie (Jess' mom)


  1. :-( I read and hung on every word here. It felt like a personal intrusion almost to read it... but I admire your honesty and openness. Jessica was so beautiful. I am so so sorry, but I am glad that your have so many happy memories with her to remember. *hugs*

  2. Crying, sometimes I have to remind myself I haven't met you IRL I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you a big ole hug friend.

    You have one bad ass angel watching over you girlee :+)

  3. What an amazing letter and I know how incredibly difficult it was to put something so personal out there. The pictures show the wonderful friendship, happiness and fun that you shared together and I am so sorry for your loss. :( Hugs!

  4. I have tears. What a heartfelt letter to a beautiful BFF. i am so deeply sorry for your loss :(

  5. Thank y'all so much. She was such a beautiful person (inside and out). You guys are so sweet and understanding - it makes putting things like this out there in the blog world easier :)

  6. You know me and I am a bit of a sap and I am fighting back the tears but the chills are inevitable.

    I am so sorry for your loss but each day that passes it will get easier and that I promise you.

    Until that day comes you have me to lean on for support.

  7. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    My best friend passed away 6 years ago in April and I'm still hanging onto clothes, bikes, photos friendships because they remind me of him.

    I'm not sure if it gets easier or, for me, that I understand his passing any better. I tried to live like him and in some way "pick up the slack" that he's left behind.

    Thank you so much for creating the space to share this experience!

  8. Hey princess I emailed you about those signs did you get it?

  9. Allison,
    Guess who just won herself her very own unicorn sticker... go on, guess. YOU! Just send me your contact info to macbradf@gmail.com and I can send it out next week!

  10. I'm so sorry about your friend.


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