Thursday, February 24, 2011

Letters to my BFF

**I wrote this on the plane on Tuesday 2/22 - but my blackberry wouldn't post to blogger - Grrrrr**

Dear Jess -

I'm sitting here on a plane on the way to New Mexico and I just read an article in Spirit Magazine on my Southwest flight about the movie "Brian's Song".  I haven't seen it but it truly peaks my interest.  It's about two best friends, Brian Piccolo and Gale Sayers who aren't only best friends they are football teammates as well. 

The story is about the bond that is formed when they find out one is terminally ill with cancer. From the brief synopsis I read is strikingly resembled our friendship.  I can't wait to Netflix the movie.  But as usual it gets me thinking about you and our friendship and how much I miss you and our bond that we shared.

I was driving home from Ronda's yesterday (side note readers: Ronda is my hair stylist) and I couldn't stop thinking about the time you desperately wanted your hair to be blonde.  When you convinced Ronda to die it -  it turned orange!!! HAHAHA!  It was right before Easter and let me tell you - you looked awesome with bright orange hair and a pastel dress.  Your mom wasn't very happy that Easter Sunday going to church.  I think shortly after, if I recall, you went back to your natural beautiful brown hair that always made your green eyes pop.  You were so beautiful.

Last Friday was Bill's 30th bday.  I invited your hubby to his surprise party but he wasn't able to make it.  I understand.  I miss our double dates and constant laughs.  I can't believe your 30th bday is right around the corner (Feb. 27th).  It's another day that is hard every year.

30! I can't believe we would be celebrating our 30th birthdays this year and 17 years of friendship.  WOW!

I still continually miss you every day and assume that its never going to go away.  Since my last letter to you Sarah got married.  She was a beautiful bride and I so desperately wished you were there to see her.  I wrapped my Livestrong bracelet around my bouquet so that you were there with us and standing for her.  The wedding was gorgeous and Sarah is happier than I have ever seen her. You would be so happy.

I continue to struggle that you aren't here.  Mostly for selfish reasons - I know you are no longer in pain and that we are all on God's time but even though the days pass and it should seemingly get easier, I still remain sad.  Then I think about a happy memory (like your orange hair) and laugh.

I miss you friend and wish I was planning to celebrate your 30th this weekend.  Instead I will think about and embrace all the birthdays were did have together because those are precious memories I will never let go of.

Love you.



  1. You get me choked up each time you write a letter to Jess and then have the courage to share it with us. Thank you for doing that.

  2. I'm with Jason every time I read a letter to Jess I cry with you for her loss. For your loss. You are so brave and strong to be able to do this - I cry evertime I try and type a letter like this.

  3. I just started following so my first letter...yea you should have told me not to try and eat my lunch at the same time I read it.

    What a great post and such a great reminder to always tell your loved ones how much they mean to you.

  4. I am so so sorry for your loss. I'm sure your read this letter and is beaming upstairs!

  5. I think this was a wonderful post.. and I haven't lost a friend but makes me want to pay tribute to those that are still with me... I've been meaning to do this on my blog for sometime! So sweet Alison!! SOOO SWEET.

  6. Beautiful post. Sorry for the loss.


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