Tuesday, February 15, 2011

ups and downs

I had a tough day yesterday with my training.

I was on such a high from my run on Sunday that I tought surely I would kill my workout on Monday.  Typically, for me, the state of euphoria I enter after an awesome training session lingers for at least a few days - but not this time.

I did my weights/core workout during lunch and rocked it.  I hammered out my whole set (3 times) with core in like 30 minutes.  I was feeling strong, accomplished, and proud of myself that I completed it during lunch rather than give in and go eat with friends.  1 point Allison.

I cut out a little early from work to avoid the Aqua Bitches and also so that I could wrap up my swim fairly early and Bill and I could make it to dinner at a reasonable hour for Valentines Day.

I got to the gym, changed - there was only 1 gentlemen in the pool...score.  Hopped in - started my watch and started swimming.

I swam my 500 yd warm up no problem.

Then I hit a wall.  By this time I was sharing a lane, which doesn't bother me all that much.  In fact I sometimes wish they would swim closer to me or kick me or push me under just to simulate race day, but that's beside the point. 

After my warm up I was slated to do a 200 yd kick drill.  I hate putting my fins on in the gym pool so I skipped it and went right to my 300 yd pull.

I couldn't find my breath and became increasingly more irritated.  I was gulping in water through my mouth and nose.  I could get my flip turns right.  I was a hot mess.

After my set of pull I went back to just swimming.  I swam another 300ish yds and the same thing.  I couldn't find my rhythm. Nothing was helping.

I did something I haven't done in a long time.....

I gave up.  I said f' it.  I'm out of here.

I got out of the water; grabbed my stuff and stomped to the locker room like a child picks up his toys and stomps home.

By this time I was crying.

I changed into dry clothes got in my car and sat in silence the whole way home. (except for the few minutes I talked to Bill on the phone)  I kept thinking - I'm not ready, I'm never going to be able to finish NOLA, I won't be ready in 60 days..... doubt crept in and still lingers today.

I know that my goal is to finish...and finish in an upright position.  But I also want to compete knowing that I left everything out there for 70.3 miles.  I can't give up on race day.

I guess it's just one of those days....at dinner last night I compared my training to bipolar disorder.... some days your up and some days your down.....and sometimes it is a very drastic swing.


  1. Ugg. I hate days like that. I had a swim episode a couple years ago where I cried for 2 days straight because I felt unprepared and well...It felt silly to cry so much like that over something that REALLY I shouldn't have been crying over, but you never know how you're going to react in certain circumstances.

    You are going to be AWESOME!! Never fear :-)

  2. Next workout will be better and the tides will turn!

  3. We all have our ups and downs, swimming is tough, we are not meant to be fish, file it under mental toughness for the work that you did do

  4. If you don't have those days, how are you going to know the good ones? :)

  5. ha! Kovas' perspective kills me! Hope the next workout is a GREAT one!!!

  6. You will be able to do NOLA. You will rock NOLA! I so wish I was doing it with you or you doing Galveston with me! Bad training days are a given. Today I swore I ran with lead thighs and hated every step of the 6.2 miles!I And, I had a seriously awesome 12-mile run last Saturday. WTH is that all about? Hang in there!

  7. There's a quote... something about being defined by your best days, not your worst. Head up!

  8. Hahaha ... Aqua Bitches! Hang in there, unfortunately we all have days like that.

  9. i've felt this way, but about running (i don't swim). shake it off, we all have bad days! i'm sure you'll ace more workouts throughout the week :)

  10. I had a workout like that at 24 Hour awhile back, and the next swim was way better and I wanted some redemption. So just hang in there. And how can you not like kicking with fins? That is my favorite thing ever (especially when I'm swimming with a friend and it turns into "social kicking").

  11. Awww keep your head up dear, its just one day out of the next 60 and you'll kick the other day's ass's no problem :+)

  12. Thank you SO SO much. I can't explain how much it means. Hopefully it will help your bad day to know that you made the day of a 5 year old little boy. Seriously-can't thank you enough!

  13. hey, just upgraded you to my friends list on my blog. just fyi... you are now cool.

  14. These things happen girl. You know that. Some days are better than others but it's not how you fall it's how you get back up and you will get back up.

    So when are we cashing in our Kenny's gets and having dinner as a family?

  15. Days like this happen. They just suck. More often than not, though, the next day doesn't suck. Persistence is key. You will kick NOLA's butt!

  16. Wipe that one from your memory and move on. I think everyone has those days where they want to give up or cut the workout short. The important thing is to regroup and get right back into it the next day. You can do it!


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