Yesterday was probably the toughest mental and physical training day since I started this epic journey 25 weeks ago. Over the course of the last few weeks I have been becoming increasingly burnt out. It’s been awhile since I have enjoyed a workout, although I find the ways to push through them (and occasionally skip one or two – I know, I know) I just haven’t been having fun. I used to LOVE working out. I loved pushing myself as I reached higher and higher mileage. I loved being able to watch my speed on my bike increase as the weeks progressed. With the winter we’ve had and my ever increasing lack of motivation my bike fitness has decreased I feel and as I’ve said a hundred times before; I’m just feeling like I’m totally unprepared for NOLA.
The last two days at work have been crazy. I’ve been out of the office all day both days visiting different accounts around town with my Regional Executive as well as my boss. It’s tiring. The same speech account after account…. The same depressing talk about our losses in
Japan, New Zealand, Australia and the . Send me business, blah, blah, blah. I’m sure you know the drill. But yesterday I was looking forward to ending early, around 3:45, heading to the gym to swim 2600 yds (straight) and then hop on my bike for an hour. (I love that it is lighter later now!) US
Everything was shaping up nicely at work. Meetings in the morning, a sushi lunch, afternoon meetings went well and then the gym. Around my second afternoon appt. I started feeling queasy. Light headed, a little loopy and felt like I was coming down with something. Bad sushi? Perhaps. I pushed through my last meeting and headed to the gym. I felt better after a couple of chomps and some water and hopped in the pool. And off I went. A straight 2600 yd swim; no break; no warm up; just go.
I got to around 850 yds and my toes started cramping on my right foot. No biggie – push through it – you can’t stop in NOLA. It eventually subsided – but decided to reenter on my left foot. Push through it – you can’t stop in NOLA. By 950 yds both toes were cramping so bad I could barely kick. I stopped. (I guess that’s what those kayak’s are for). I attempted to rub them out in the water. It wasn’t working… but it felt ok enough to continue swimming. I got to 1100 and had to stop again. This time I lifted my left leg onto the side of the pool (bad idea) – My quad felt like it ripped in half. Literally. It hurt so bad I thought I was going to vomit in the pool. Vomit is not good in any pool.
I lifted myself out of the pool and limped to grab my bag. I cried all the way to the locker room – where again thought I was going to vomit as a woman walked around completely naked. COMPLETELY NAKED……
I changed out of my suit – and headed home. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to ride my bike b/c of my quad – but I thought what the hell – it’s an hour – it’s light outside and I can do it. I WILL NOT QUIT. As I walked in the door; I plopped on the couch next to Bill and proceeded to cry for an hour. After I was done I loaded my bike and headed out for an hour ride. I got a good 45 minutes in but the wind was crazy, the trails were super crowded and my toes were cramping again. I had been beat down just about as low as I have ever been during training.
Needless to say it was a rough day.
When I got back home Bill and I chilled the rest of the night. We even got dessert to make me feel better (dessert will ALWAYS make me feel better – and vodka…which we had too)
Something has to change over the next 30 days. I need to find that passion, that desire, that motivation that I had. It is all gone. I’m depleted; I’m empty and the thought of triathlon makes me want to vomit. What happened to the love (lust) that I once had for the sport has pushed me beyond any limit I ever thought I would reach?
I decided to change things up – I signed up for the tour Dallas bike rally the first weekend in April to get 30 miles in that weekend with a group of peeps. Next weekend is the Rock N’ Roll half which will be super fun with friends that are running it. And then before we know it NOLA will be here. I’ve never been ready for a race to be over as I am right now. I hope that the weeks after NOLA I find my passion for this sport that I have grown to love. Maybe smaller distances are for me? Maybe I will love the 70.3 so much it becomes my favorite distance? Who knows what the future holds for this AG’er triathlete…. But all I can hope is that something changes between now and April 17.
In happier news: (PINK SCREAMS HAPPY!)
- I totally won The Happy Runner’s Compression sock giveaway which I’m totally stoked about!! I just bought calf sleeves but I haven’t had socks! VERY EXCITED!!! (If you don’t follow her you should!)
- We are almost at 100 followers at triandfinish. Once we get to 100 a super fun giveaway (2 prizes) will be up for grabs in honor of hitting such an awesome milestone!
- Also, my friend Janette and I will be hosting a weekly installment starting next Tuesday titled “Tribute Tuesday’s”. Janette was inspired by my “Letters to BFF” post(s) and came up with an awesome idea that we have partnered on. You can grab that button up at the top of the left hand column and on Tuesday link up with us to participate. It’s going to take the blog world by storm so you should totally participate
- One more thing – do any of you read Jack Sh*t Getting’ Fit? Go check it out – it’s a very inspiring blog and he does a fun installment of W.I.D.T.H. (Why I Do This Here)…. I submitted my sticky note…. Will you?
St. Patrick’s Day Peeps – hope you are wearing green and are not getting pinched!
Now back to work, a 7 mile run and then it’s on to green beer and Irish food……….